Talking to people who disagree with you is an increasingly rare thing in these politically divided times. A national organization called Braver Angels encourages that kind of dialog with the goal of finding common ground. KUNM spoke with the founders of the New Mexico alliance, Barbara Regan and Marty Gerber, about how it works.
BARBARA REGAN: You have to have two leaders. So you have to have one person, and that's Marty, who declares that he is blue-leaning liberal, whereas I am the other co chair. And I have to say, you know, I'm conservative, red-leaning.
KUNM: What drew you both into being involved in this organization?
MARTY GERBER: The country is falling apart, moving farther apart, and I think that's an awful thing. And I was motivated by, what if anything could I do about it? I came across this organization online, and I went to join, and I found out there was no entity, no chapter that I could join in New Mexico. So I said, “Okay, I would start one.”
KUNM: What about you, Barbara?
REGAN: About two years ago, I read a book – “I Never Thought Of It That Way,” by Monica Guzman, and the subtitle of it was “How to have fearlessly curious conversations in dangerously divided times.” And that really captured my interest, because I'm always curious about people that think differently than I do, and I always want to talk to people. But it's really hard nowadays, because people are so easily offended, and people are afraid to say what they really think. So, when I read the book at the end of it, there was a list of resources, and one of them was the website for the Braver Angels, you know. And I went to that, and one of the very first things I did was an online -- one of their workshops called a common ground workshop. It was a little bit after that Marty contacted me about starting one, he kind of drew me into it, because it's not my thing. But I said, “Okay, if you can do a startup, I'll support you.”
KUNM: How many members do you have?
REGAN: There's about 390 now. As far as active, because we were given counties like in Farmington, where somebody's not going to drive down here to do our monthly meeting. But I would say, maybe 50 or 60?
GERBER: We have a range of events, we have workshops, we have films, monthly meetings, we have a meet-up group. But if we were to add up who comes to all of our different events combined, I would say 50 to 60 is a good estimate.
KUNM: What do people say when they come to the events, why they're there or why they wanted to get involved?
GERBER: They're just upset. And our rate at what's going on, at the discord, at the animosity, at the way people see others as enemies simply because they chose another candidate, the way people see others as stereotypes, which is one of the big things we fight against. I do not find this a hard sell. When I talk to people about what we do, the most common response I get is, “Yeah, right on, count me in! When's the next meeting?
REGAN: Yes. And I think when they have attended to they find it very refreshing that they're able to speak their minds, because there's not a lot of forums or places where you have to be careful about what you say. And we have moderators, trained moderators, like on our monthly discussion group, and so you know you're not going to get attacked just because you say something that somebody else doesn't agree with. And so people really do feel like they need to have a place that they can speak their mind. You know, what do they really think? Other things we've heard from people is it gives you skills on some of these workshops for relationships that have been broken, whether it's family or it's friends, we know several of our members who have learned how better to deal with a family member or someone who took offense and was cutting them off, and then how to try to heal those relationships, which is very important.
KUNM: This is an obvious question, but why is this important?
REGAN: Because we want to save this democracy of ours, and democracy depends on the people working together! So, it's not about who wins the election, but it's about can we work with each other and accomplish what we need to do for this country, you know? And once the election is passed, and especially this year, it's so important to me that we can get over this thing that's going on now and whatever happens in that election, that if the person who wanted to win didn't win, that they're willing to say, “Okay, I'll try next time to win. But for now, I will work with you,” you know, and so it's important to us, because we don't want to see this country fall apart, and we're the people, right? So if our lawmakers aren't doing what needs to be done, then we want to step up and do something about it.
GERBER: Absolutely. I mean, what's made things work and last for, I don't know, 250 years is people working together.
You find more about the New Mexico Alliance of Braver Angels and all their events online.
